The Holidays

So I hope everyone Had a great Christmas! I know I did, it was nice to be able to spend time with the family.

I am having a hard time focusing today on writing my blog. It is about 3 pm right now and I started typing this at 10:30 am. I have been doing some research this morning on things for the non profit. Also I have been writing an article forwww.voicesofsurvivors.com

I was pretty excited when Lynn Lane, the founder of Voices of Survivors, asked me to write “My Voice” to share with him and the people that visit his site.

I want to be able to share my story with as many people as I can. I want to be able to share my sense of hope and that things can get better. Really, like I have been saying, I just want to help people, and as time has gone on I have realized that I really want to be able to help people on a large scale. Of course I need to start small...gotta start somewhere, and that is why we have started Protect Your Pair. If you go towww.ProtectYourPair.org you will find a page called events. In there you can find the information for our first event to try and start to raise money to support our cause.

Please help me spread the word! It would be greatly appreciated, and with every person that someone tells, it will help raise awareness that much more!

I guess this is all for today. I am feeling a bit off, so I think I may try and take a nap. Not too much longer until my final treatment. Then I am done and I can really get started on all of this!

So long for now!

-The Tech

HOLY COW I"M HOME!!!

So this is great, I got home yesterday from the hospital! If you read my blog from yesterday you would know that I was very excited to come home and I expected to make an early day of it!

Haha...Right...I should have figured it wouldn’t work like that. So The Nurse Practitioner that works with the group of doctors that I see came in and told me my red levels were a little low in my blood. I was sooooo excited to be able to leave by like 10 am, it would have been awesome! Instead though I needed to get two units of blood. It was the first time I had ever had a transfusion, and let me tell you at first I was all “this is gonna suck” and “what the f**k” I want to just go home. I was literally at the end of my rope and just wanted to get out of there. Of course the only person who really sees this behavior or these feelings while they are going on seems to be my mother. (Sorry Mom, I love you)

So after me breaking down and saying ok...fine...do it, they got the blood, tylenol, all that crap gave me some Benadryl and I passed out for about 4 hours while I became a vampire...or at least thats how I like to look at it.

Anyways...so I went through it, and felt better than ever, had great color in my face and extremities. I probably look and feel better than I have since I started my chemo! Not only that but on top of that add the GREAT NEWS I had gotten the day before my treatment, the fact that it is the holiday season, I am out of the hospital, and I get to see my friends and family....I don’t think I could ask for anything more this holiday season! I mean what is better than beating the pants off of cancer for christmas!

So I am also excited to announce again the official launch of my other website, www.protectyourpair.org. We have created a facebook group for it too, and soon enough there will be a forum section on the site where people will be able to post questions, concerns, and all of that!

Anyways, I am currently working on getting our first benefit set up with my friend Jenn <3.>

Ok, I have precious precious sleep that I am going to catch up on...or watch Inglorious Bastards...or like I am doing now watch my little sister make Empire Biscuits...

This is new for me...I am starting to like the holidays, but not for the bullshit...I have finally realized how much my friends, family, and life mean to me.

Until next time...

-The Tech

Oh it is early

So I am awake...it is 6:47 am ET, and have been working on the recently launched... PROTECTYOURPAIR.ORG

I have been working away at this just trying to get it ready for people to see and use. There is some valuable information on there about the cause, and the wonderful people behind it including myself! HAHA!

Anyways, today is officially the start of day 6 in the hospital since the start of round #3 of chemo! That means I should be getting the hell out of here though! Granted my counts need to be high enough and my PICC line needs to be taken out (No Blood Clot please), but I am almost home free and for the holidays!

I have friends coming home that I am going to see, and I plan on spending as much time as I can with, not to mention my family, because they mean more than anything right now. As most of you probably know I got great news the day before I came in for my chemo! For those of you that haven’t read that great news yet please go here and check it out! It is probably the best news I have got in a long long long time!

Ok so anyways, I think I am going to get some more rest before I leave this place, then rest when I get home, and then rest till after the New Year when I start my FINAL TREATMENT!!!!

-The Tech

Worst I have felt yet

So my roomate is snoring and I cannot fall asleep. On top of that, I am feeling sick finally now that I am into my third treatment. I have to expect that though...I am just over half way there. I will luckily be home for Xmas and New Years!

Then right after the New Year, I will be back in on the 4th, and I will be here till about the 9th or 10th.

Right now though I am super exhausted, and I am going to get some sleep!

I will type more tomorrow, the NPO is really starting to take off, and the official site will be up soon!

www.protectyourpair.org

Thanks Everyone!

Drew

Great News!!

So I got some of the best news I have in awhile today! I went to the doctor for all my...ok screw that lets just get to it!

My Lymph node has shrunk back to normal size!!!! I am “Cancer Free”. Of course we cannot be completely sure just yet, so I am going through my next two treatments as planned, but things are looking great. When my doctor walked into the room earlier with a giant smile on his face I knew it was great news...it is pretty easy to read him...I think because he is so straight forward!

Anyways, not only that, but I also got to see my friend Reid today, and we went to the movies. It was nice to hangout with a friend today, I haven’t done that in awhile!

I need to get some sleep though, I have treatment tomorrow and the next 5 days, so I will post more tomorrow about progress with the NPO and the new website and all that!

Thank you all so much for your continued support through my hard times, I really appreciate it and don't know where I would be without you!

-The Tech!

Ahhh What the hell

So you have to love this, two day....two days that is all until my treatment on wednesday and I wake up...feeling like shit. Oh yea real fun stuff here, I mean I hate it when I feel nauseas when I am treatment, but at least there is an actual reason for it then. I mean I guess there could be a reason that is legitimate for this too, but come one...I have been feeling sooooo good the last few days that I am a little put out by this.

Anyways, last night I had a pretty good night. I went to my brothers with my mom and dad and helped my dad and my brother put up some boarder for their babies room that is being re-done right now. It is almost finished it seems, I haven’t really been able to help with that room because of my treatment that has been going on, so I was glad I got to help him with it yesterday. Then while my brother and father finished putting up the last piece of border, I went and sat down with my sister-in-law and we were talking about my brother and her new phones that they just got. The HTC Droid Eris, Oh My God, is that an awesome phone! I really with AT&T would carry an Android phone...I really want to get one, but I don’t want to switch carriers...at least right now. Anyways, we had dinner over there last night, my brother made Lasagna and it was delicious! I ate it really fast, but I was starving from not eating much all day, and not to mention taking my Marinol.

So last night we came home, I sat down with my sister and her boyfriend, and watched part of Tropic Thunder. There are some parts in that movie that crack me up, then others where I kind of want to slap whoever wrote it for making it so awkward at times.

Anyways I ended up back in my bed last night, thinking about writing a blog last night, but I didn’t feel I had a lot to write about at the time. So instead I worked on my other website, which at this point still has the coming soon page up, but it is exciting anyways...the baseline for the site is really coming along, but once we have all the information for it together then I will really be able to take off with it.

So anyways, I thought that sitting up and doing something might make me feel better...turns out it hasn’t....soooooo I am going to go back to sleep for now, but I will be back on with more later I am sure.

So long for now!

-The Tech

Rough Start

Hey Everyone,

So this morning I woke up at about 8 am, with no desire to get out of my bed. I did my normal routine though, got up...walked to the bathroom, walked back to my bedroom...jumped in bed, and then grabbed my laptop which I had fallen asleep with in my bed with me last night...along with my phone. So I got on my laptop, checked my twitter, grabbed my iPhone and checked my emails, and then passed out.

Awaking again about 45 minutes later I realized I need to stop falling asleep with my MacBook in my bed because it was about an inch from the edge of my bed where it would have faced an awful fall to destruction! Ok so it wouldn’t have been that dramatic, but it would have been me going, “SHIT SHIT SHIT....(crash)...SON OF A...”, you get the point. It probably would have went on for about 2 hours while I tried to fix whatever was broken and then tried to order new parts for it.

Anyways, so that is not even why my morning has been rough. I woke up and did all that and after checking my email, my twitter, napping again, and waking back up...I got to thinking about stuff. Nothing in particular...just stuff...which eventually led to me thinking about my life and the things I wished were different. I started thinking to myself, I wish I didn’t have Heart Disease, then onto I wish I didn’t have to go through chemo treatments, and finally onto I wish I had never had cancer in the first place and had to have a testicle removed! So while I was getting down on myself and wishing that none of these things ever happened I got thinking some more on how that is not me. How I have had those things happen to me, and sure I may be upset about them but shit, those things are what have made me the person I am today. Without any of those things happening to me I would not want to make a difference like I do today. So instead of sitting around being counter productive, feeling sorry for my damn self I am going to do what I planned and help people that need help. (Of course I don’t mean right this second, I have a blog to write...site to finish...benefit to be set up...)

But, when everything is said and done, and in the mean time I want to try and help people. Be it volunteering while I am at the hospital to talk to and visit the kids that are going through chemo, or even some of the older people who are there to keep them company while we are all going through this. I especially want to focus on helping the kids right now. I cannot imagine what it is like being a kid I mean under like 15 that has to go through chemo. Not really understanding why these things are happening to you, or why you feel so bad. It makes me miserable thinking about a child having to go through what I am going through right now. Or their parents having to watch their child be so sick, and so tired that they can’t play, or play with other kids because their immune system is shot from the drugs they are coming in contact with. I just want to be able to help them and their families, or people my age and older and their families get through what could possibly be the hardest time in their life.

Me, I have been in and out of the hospital, more now than ever and I know exactly what it can be like, and I sure as hell know what it is like when things go wrong. If I can use those experiences to help other people I am going to!

Anyways, I need to go get something to eat, my meds are starting to kick in, and and I am getting hungry. I am sure I will post again later tonight though.

Until then, have a great day,

-The Tech

BUSY BUSY BUSY

5:08 PM

So I have actually found myself being pretty busy the last couple of days. My mind has been all over the place. I am currently well...writing this blog, but also working on trying to start a Non-Profit Organization, trying to figure out how to trademark the name Protect Your Pair (I say trying to figure out because it cost $375 just to apply), and I am about to re-install Windows 7 on my PC Laptop. Good thing I have my little MacBook too so I can update my website and keep myself occupied while I wait for that to finish!

Anyways, Jenn and I are so far setting up the benefit concert to really kick this whole thing off. Jenn is doing much more than I to set the whole thing up. So far she has got two bands to play and the date it going to be January 17th. That is really the only information I am going to give out at this time, because we don’t know much more than that. Oh other than we do have a place booked for that day to hold the event.

Anyways, I have been feeling a lot better since I came home from the Blood-Clot stay in the hospital. What a hassle! I mean my mom and I keep saying with me, “if it can go wrong, it is going to” which is pretty much how things have been since November 2nd when I started treatment.

Ok for those of you just joining us lets recap:

Incident #1 - A couple days after leaving my first treatment I ended up in the hospital a second time because we thought I had the swine flu. This was a pain right in the ass as well. I got hospitalized again, and spent about a week in the hospital recovering from all that crap. So then again I went home for a couple days

Incident #2 - The Bleomycin gave me a bad reaction and they determined that they needed to take me off that chemo drug and extend my treatments, so instead of having three treatments I now have four, causing me to end treatment after the New Year...

Incident #3 - While telling me they were stopping Bleomycin the nurses also noticed that I was in Atrial Fib, so we went to my cardiologist where he then admitted me to the hospital and put me on Rythmol to put my heart back to a normal rythm and rate. Luckily I was only there for the night!

Incident #4 - Here we go again, after I left my second treatment I felt like shit, sorry for the language, but I did I felt not good at all. Then when I got home I tried moving my arm and where my PICC line killed when I tried to extend that Arm. So I slept on it for a day....then two...then the pain was in my chest, neck, ear, and head...All on the right side of my body. So....yes back to the hospital. We went to the ER where they did and Ultrasound of my arm and neck, and also did a chest x-ray and a CT. All to find that....I had a Blood-Clot. So I spent the next...6(?) days in the hospital on a Heprin Drip, coumadin, and Percocet. The Percocet was nice, made me feel a lot better, along with my Marinol, Ativan, and Ambien... Anyways it has almost all cleared up now and doesnt hurt anymore.

So now I mean those are the times I have been in the hospital not including my scheduled chemo treatments. Needless to say I am sick of the G D hospital. I am getting to know a lot of people that work there, though I am sorry I have trouble remembering some names all the time. Another thing I need to acknowledge is the nurses at the hospital for keeping me company and talking to me at night while I am in there and I can’t sleep. Not only that but taking such good care of me while I am in the hospital. It means the world to me and my family, but especially me. You all make the stay in the hospital much more bearable!

10:16 PM

So I started this blog post hours ago, and like everything else to day got forgotten in the 5 minute attention span that I have because of my Ativan and Marinol.

Anyways, I am back and I have been spending hours trying to plan out the new website for “Protect Your Pair” the NPO that I am attempting to start. I have also been spending hours trying to get my PC laptop all refreshed and back to where I want it before I have to go back in for chemo this wednesday, but it isn’t working as well as I would like...damn attention span.

Anyways, I think this is all for the night. I am getting pretty tired, which is the Ambien’s fault haha.

So Goodnight, I shall post more tomorrow night!

-The Tech

Home Again

So I haven’t posted in a few days! Sorry everyone!

So basically I have been home for a day, and feeling much better than I was in the hospital. So I have learned that blood clots just...are not that fun. Luckily whenever I have to go to the hospital I have the same set of nurses when I go, so it is nice to see familiar and friendly faces!

So being in the hospital so much has really started to seem like it a second home. I have been there more than I have actually been home since Nov 2nd when I started my treatment. It has been 38 days since my first day of chemo, and I have spent 26 days in that time. So yea...I think most people would get really sick of the hospital, but I guess it is the best place for me in the time that I go through chemo because my white count is generally down. I mean so...really the best place to be for me so they can get anything that may happen under control. My mom and I joke that they should just keep me there until this is all over, but sometimes I think they should, only because I am sick of being off my treatment for two weeks and while on those two weeks I end up getting sick and back in the hospital.

Anyways, no more complaining! One of my best friends Jenn texted me the other night when I was in the hospital, and she told me that she wanted to hold some sort of benefit for the cause that I am trying to start to support and she wanted to help me. She and I are in the process of planning an event to be held somewhere in or around Syracuse, NY. I love Jenn haha when she sent me that message the other night it actually made me cry because holy shit, to have friends like that, that is priceless. After telling some other friends about this idea they are completely behind it to, I just can believe the support that I have from friends and family. So anyways, we are not sure when this is going to be happening, probably sometime after Jan 10th when I am all done with my chemo, but I will keep everyone posted. I will probably have a website up and running for it once we have a few more details figured out.

Right now though I guess the best way to get the most frequent update on what I am doing is to follow me on twitter. My name on there is @toldbyatech which may change, but I will also keep you updated on that.

Anyways for now it is time for me to go take some meds, get some food (thank you Marinol <-----lifesaver) and probably watch some TV with the little sister!

Goodnight everyone!

-The Tech

Blood Clot?

Woo, I am always just loving coming back to the hospital when I am not in treatment. I am still here from the first day with my Blood Clot, but I should head home tomorrow!

So I slept most of the day yesterday, it was actually pretty nice, and I also slept most of the day today! I really needed the rest, and I feel that I still need more.

Today was pretty funny, well not until later today, I took my Percocet then right after my Marinol and now I think I am going to ask for my Ativan and then soon after my Ambien. The Percocet and the Marinol though are quiet the cocktail. I ate a lot...still not done really, but so far its been Pasta and Beef, Pulled Pork Sandwich, Corn, Ice Cream, and next is cake and brownies and cupcakes.

Ugh and now all of the sudden I am feeling sick. I think I am going to end this for now, but I will write when I am home tomorrow. I wanted to say that keep your eyes open for a event that will be coming up. My friend Jenn is putting together a concert for benefit for me and my cause to fight cancer. I will keep you posted!

Have a good night everyone,

-The Tech

Wait...In the hospital again...Not for chemo?

So it has been a few days since I updated my blog, and in those few days there has been a major event. Hence the reason I am in the hospital again, not for chemo this time.

As you can see I am kind of smiling in the picture above, this is not because I am really happy to be in the hospital, but more because they have me drugged up so I can’t feel much of anything right now.

So when I came home from the hospital on the 30th of November I had a pretty bad pain in my bicep of my right arm (where my PICC line was). Also I could feel the vein like it was hard, and my arm was a bit warm and swollen. The Interventional Radiology team that put my PICC line in while doing the procedure told me that it may hurt a little. Well I wasn’t thinking he didn’t mean afterwords. So anyways after 2 days or so of it hurting, me putting heat on it, the pain spread to my chest, neck, ear, and head. This was bad news bears! So I talked to my mom, and then yesterday without hesitation we were on our way to Crouse Hospital ER. Well, we always have a lovely experience in the ER, NOT! We got there at about 10 am, and waited to be seen for about 45 minutes. We were supposed to go right in because I am a chemo patient and a cardiac patient and my doctors had called ahead. So really I could have been sitting there dying, or catching sometime because I am a chemo patient and I was in a room filled with sick people.

Anyways, once I finally got into the Triage room they did blood test and blah blah blah, the normal ER bullshit...they should just know me by now....no Joke...everyone else does....thats not a joke either. I mean come on today is day 23 since November 2nd when I started my chemo treatments that I have been in the hospital for one thing or another. The nurses are all getting to know me, and its nice because they are all so wonderful and great at what they do. They talk to me at night when I can’t sleep about anything, joking around, things that are bothering me, my ex girlfriend, I mean anything. They keep me sane while I am here because they are all right around my age and relate to me well!

Anyways, back to the story! So they did a bunch of test (this is the shortened version) and ultrasound of my arm, a CT of my chest, and of course more blood work, and found that I have a MASSIVE Blood-Clot in my right arm where all the pain was going on. Heres my reaction, “WTF if its not one thing its the other”. I am happy it wasn’t an infection, but at the same time it sucks cause it hurts so damn bad.

So now they have me on pain killers, blood thinners, and Heprin drip trying to get things under control. Seems to be working for now, I am pretty damn tired though. I will write more later though, I need to get some rest.

Hope you all have a great day!

-The Tech

Day started good...ended...eh

So I started the say off feeling decent, went out of the house with my sister and her boyfriend, got some lunch, went to a couple stores, came home....felt like shit. I actually ate though...it is rare that I have actually felt like eating though.

So when I got home I took a nap, then once again waking up feeling like crap, took some meds, and went back to sleep.

(I am sorry I am flying through this post because I am going to fall asleep)

Then I woke back up, went downstairs while mom made dinner, mmmm scalloped potatoes and ham, one of my favorites and somehow when she was done I was able to eat. I didn’t feel like I had an appetite but I ate more than I have in a week, I think I ate more than I did on thanksgiving.

Anyways, now I am regretting it...again. I have taken my meds to go to sleep though, and I will update this tomorrow with some more info, probably later on like I would usually do from the hospital so I can get the basics of my day in there.

I hope you all sleep well, and I hope you all have good days tomorrow!

-The Tech

Home from treatment week 2

So I am home from treatment, and feel....like crap.

I hate to be down, and I hate to let people see me that I am down. This may take me a little while for me to type, because right now my finger tips a bit in pain, and a bit numb.

I am really trying to keep this page going so people can keep up with me, and keep up with whats going on in my life, and make it so people in the future can learn from my experiences.

I know this may sound crazy, but I was just having a conversation with one of my friends, well ex-girl friends that is actually a very good friend now. Today though my girlfriend and I broke up, not because I was mad at her, or because she was mad at me, but because she and I have a lot going on. I have chemo and all this shit, and she has school and we are better as friends, which is nice that I can still have a friend in her and support for me while I battle through what I am.

Anyways, I said to my friend, that this may sound morbid, and this may sound crazy, but I mean I wish by this time in my life even though I am only 24 I wish that I had a son or daughter now and been married and still happily married. Now that there is anyone in specific that I would have wanted to have done this by now. Well maybe there is but that is for a later date. (shhh its her) Haha I know your probably reading this right now and you know who you are!

Anyways, to keep things simple for now, after talking to her I have been feeling a lot better today, not my body really but my soul. She has cheered me up and I want her to know that. You are a great friend, and I am so happy that you are happy in your life. I love you and always will, you know that.

I am going to end all of my blogs, or a lot with:

I WILL BARREL THROUGH THIS!

Right now I am battling myself and my cancer and what to do about a lot of things right now, and anyone and everyone please feel free to IM me, email me, whatever leave me a comment because they all mean so much to me.

I love you all, some people in more ways than others (you know who you are)

Talk to you maybe later when I have calmed down a bit.

-The Tech

Treatment: Hospital Week 2 Day 5

So I am spending one more night here. Tomorrow they will give me a shot of Nulasta to keep my white count up when I get home. I need to talk to the doctor a little bit tomorrow about my appetite and feeling sick and pain and all that shit. Tonight though I am not really one for talking, I am in the process of trying to get my organization together more than ever. I really need to get my act together and not let me chemobrain take that over. So here goes. I am going to sleep on it tonight, try and be calm...sleep it off tomorrow when I am home, and try and make a real effort and all that to try make my dream a reality.

Goodnight Everyone, sorry this one was so short.

-The Tech

Treatment: Hospital Week 2 Day 4

Today, has been the worst day that I have had yet since I went through treatment. I cried this morning when I got up. cried before Reid and Hillary got here, Cried before Casey got here and have just had a bad fucking day. I was fine when every body was here today. I miss everyone, and unfortunately I didn’t get to see Cassie again today. Thats ok though, she was sick and hasn’t slept so we didn’t need two of us that were miserable for most of the day in the same spot.

Like I said when I started this, I CAN BARREL THROUGH THIS!

It wasn’t until my mom left that I have just had what is probably my biggest breakdown yet, my nurse has just got to experience the end of it and it is the first down I have broke down in from of the nurses. I try to stay strong in front of them, because they say they admire me for that, I DO LIVESTRONG, and I always will, but I guess everyone needs to lost it from time to time to let some stress out. Its not like I am mean or violent, I just cry and cry hard, I think harder than I ever have in my entire life, and believe me...I have cried.

This treatment though, it just has been draining me, and I cannot take it anymore, I am glad tomorrow is the last day for this round so that I can just go home and rest, sleep for about a week, watch TV, see Cassie, my dogs, the rest of my family, and hopefully just relax. Lacey was talking about coming and hanging out with me at home I guess (my brothers lovely wife), which it would be nice to have someone to hangout with during the days to keep me kind of active and not just quiet and by myself all day.

I really have to say today though, not to feel sorry for myself has definitely been the worst day yet. I can not control my emotions, it really really sucks. I haven’t watched TV all day, no movies, I was pretty much quiet and in my own little world all day except for when my friends were here.

I really miss my life, I miss working, my friends, and even the people I don’t like at work or where ever. I just wish things were back to normal already, it sucks. It is bad when I WANT to see the people I don’t like. None the less I want it all back.

I CAN AND WILL BARREL THROUGH THIS!

I have to keep telling myself that tonight because I am still crying and it is just not like me. I do not do this, and I HATE it with a passion when people see me do it. I guess it shows that I do have both sides too me though, not that I am just some tough guy, cause I am not always as tough as I make it out to be (even though I would like too be haha).

I barely ate anything today, ate some pizza, a falafel patty, some banana bread, and drank some coke and ginger ale. I really thing I could have went for a beer today. I am really thinking about talking to my doctor tomorrow about the Mirinol Pill, which is basically THC in the pill form. I would have never dreamed of asking him about it, and still am not sure if I will, but I think it will help me with a lot of my problems. Sleeping, nausea, appetite, anxiety, pain, and lots of other shit. I am not a big pot smoker anyways, I try to stay away from any and all smoking.

I just had a really good conversation with my Nurse, Jessica, that is on for the night shift about Mirinol, she said I should definitely ask my doctor cause she won’t look at me like I am crazy because it is legitimate and it is not like I am a big pot smoker like I was just telling her about because I was telling her about my blog and why I am doing it and I was telling her how I was feeling.

I mean I am not going to lie here, in the past I have tried a lot of different drugs, many that I will never ever ever touch again and will not discuss any further than this with almost anyone, but pot has always been one that when I have felt sick or anxious or stuff like that I have smoked from time to time and the THC in it has made me feel better. I am in no way condoning illegal drug use here, but I feel like that are certainly not being used for the good they could be doing for a lot of people, especially cancer patients.

So I think tomorrow I will speak to my doctor about it, or my Nurse Practitioner about trying it out, because I definitely need something that is a cure-all right now, and if that is what it is going to be, and they are willing to try and give it to me, then why now, anything to make myself better and make myself feel better even if it is temporarily.

I WILL BARREL THROUGH THIS!

I am feeling much better that I have blogged tonight and got some stuff off of my chest. I miss all you people that may be reading this, and even the people that I don’t know now or may never know now, thank you for all of your support, and thank you for reading. Please pass this site along to friends and family, people that might want to read about someone else’s battle with cancer, because I know how usefull it can be to hear about other peoples experiences!

So once again, Thanks for reading and being there for me,

-The Tech

Treatment: Hospital Week 2 Day 3

So it is about 9:22, and now that everyone is gone it is time for me to have my nightly breakdown. I took that picture about 30 seconds before the tears started rolling out and my head got all stuffy like it usually does.

I don’t want anyone and I mean anyone to see me when I am in a time of weakness, people need to see me when I am strong when nothing is holding me down. It is funny though because when I get on here and start typing I will spill my guts so people know that I do have the occasional...well daily breakdown. It generally happens when everyone is gone, and if it is when I am at home it is in my room, and if Cassie is there...well generally I will do it in front of her because I just can’t help it. I do not want her to have a sick boyfriend, and I really want to be able to go out and have fun with her because she is a riot.

Anyways, today I felt pretty shitty, sick to my stomach at times, and felt like really that I just didn’t want to do a damn thing. Really it is the first day that I have felt like this...well I did a little yesterday, but not as bad as today. Today my older brother Jamie came and saw me, it was really nice to see him. He stayed for awhile, went and got me Shrimp Tempura which I have been craving since before my treatments have started. We talked about games and nerd stuff which was nice because there is no one here to talk to about that really while I am at the hospital...well or anywhere but around my brother or adam or derek. Then after my brother left my Sister Jill, her boyfriend Derek, and all of our friend Dain came to see me. It was really nice to see all them even through I don’t really want anyone to actually see me like this. Then while they were here my mom came, and she stayed until about 8 or so. She brought me a new hat, it is from Ireland, I was pretty excited.

She stayed for awhile, and while she wasn’t here for about 20 minutes Cassie’s dad came and saw me. It is always really nice to see him, he always puts a smile on my face! He is a very nice man, and I understand why Cassie is the way she is and who she is the more and more that I talk to him.

I got some nice IM’s and texts today from some friends I haven’t seen in awhile. I should be seeing Nick tomorrow too, which makes me happy because he is a really good friend that I wish I got to see more! Then my friend Reid is probably going to stop up before he heads back to Clarkson tomorrow to finish up this semester, haven’t seen him in forever so that will be nice. Then Also I am expecting my friend Casey to come see me. I haven’t seen her since one night randomly downtown when a bunch of my friends and I went out drinking, so it should be really nice to see her tomorrow if she makes it up this way and chat with her some!

I hope Cassie can make it up tomorrow too, I didn’t get to see her today and even though it has only been one day, I miss her. She had a pretty bad Migraine today and I can understand that, pretty sure she is passed out right now! More power to her, I should be getting my Ambien soon and doing the same thing!

So anyways, I think I am going wrap this up for now, but I will talk to you all again tomorrow,

Have a great night people,

The Tech!

Treatment: Hospital Week 2 Day 2

So it is once again about 8:30 pm, and I am writing my blog, I think this is going to be a pattern, at least while I am in the hospital because this is about the time that all my visitors end up leaving.

Tonight my mom came in pretty early, and stayed until about 7 or 7:30. Cassie had come in around 6:30 or so, which it was nice to see her on Thanksgiving as well as my dad. Also one of our old family friends came in to visit me who I haven’t seen in awhile. I was friends with her daughter when we were very little and she was very sick.

So today the chemo was a little worse than yesterday, I felt kind of sick earlier, but after some Zofran and other drugs that went away. RIght now the treatment is still pumping through me, it has got a little time left yet, so it will probably be another late night. I am a bit nervous because I am really losing my appetite, and I am not eating nearly as much as I should be. Even things I like like Ben and Jerry's....I took 3 bites and was like...huh no! That is not at all like me. As you can see by the picture above I am sporting a smile, that is a picture I just took a little while ago. I think tomorrow I am going to talk to my Oncologist about Marinol, to help with both my appetite and anxiety, and that may be able to knock out the Ativan, which would be nice! The Ativan doesn’t seem to do much for me anyways, that is unless one night I may have taken double the dose I was supposed to, oops, but it did one hell of a job.

Anyways, I am pretty excited because my friend Nick is planning on coming and seeing me on Saturday and I haven’t seen him in awhile, really I can’t wait. There are a few more people that I wish would come and see me, but its ok...I kind of had a falling out with some of them.

Anyways, I am getting rather tired...it is only about 9:15, so I think I am going to hit the hay.

All in all I am feeling a little under the weather today, but I try not to show it!

Hope to hear from you all soon!

Remember IM me (D315G) or email me (thetech@astoldbyatech.com)

Have a good night,

-The Tech

Treatment: Hospital Week 2 Day 1

So its the day before Thanksgiving, and I am in for my second round of 5 day treatment. I have not updated this in awhile but, after my first week of treatment I wasn’t feeling too crappy, until a few days later I came down with something and my immune system was shot so of course my body couldn’t fight it off. So I ended up in the Emergency Room, thinking that I may have the swine flu with a fever.

Lets pause for a second. This SUCKED. I spent another 5 days in the damn hospital, this time not for chemo, but because I was actually sick. So by now I had spent 11 days in the hospital by the 17th of November, and I only started my treatments on the second.

So after that fun trip, I went home and was scheduled to go to the doctors office for my Bleomycin treatment on Thursday the 19th. Well lets just say that I didn’t quite get my treatment. When I went to the office they noticed (which I should have) that my heart was in an irregular rhythm! Imagine that, I have had heart problems my whole life, and I didn’t even realize something was going on. I guess it is because I have been feeling off from the chemo treatments. Anyways, I went to my Cardiologist, and determined that I was in Atrial Fib. So now the story gets more fun! My doctor played around with my Pacemaker (OMG yes I have one for those of you that didn’t know that) and I was then admitted to 4 North at Crouse Hospital in Syracuse. They gave me some drugs, Rhythmol (has another name google it if you want to know more) which took me out of A-Fib, and put me back into a Sinus Rhythm (GO ME!).

So I went home the next day, which would have been the 20th, got some rest and was ready for the weekend...which meant sleep, lots of sleep because of the damn chemo drugs still messing with my system. Sunday though we celebrated Thanksgiving! It was a nice dinner with my mom, dad, brother, sister in law, little sister, her boyfriend Derek (hopefully future brother in law because I like him and he is super cool) and of course I can’t forget Cassie <3.>

So then next day, the 23rd, I went to the doctor for a little checkup with my Oncologist. They drew some blood, because they are so good at it there, and then I saw my doctor. He is such a nice guy, and very caring. I can’t imagine having his job. He see’s so many people that are in pain, has to give people the news that they do or don’t have cancer, and just has to see so many sick people that are having what is probably the hardest time of their lives. I have to give him credit, he always has a smile on his face, and always has a positive outlook. Anyways, now that I have told you all that he came into talk to me, and said, “we need to stop the Bleomycin, I am afraid that since it gave you a rash that it could give you a worse reaction if we keep giving it to you.” Forgot to tell you that, the Bleomycin gave me a rash on my shoulders and back, and that is the most dangerous drug arewere giving me. So now my treatment will not be three 5 day treatments in the hospital, it will be four :( hey anything to make myself better though!

So now, it is the 25th, and I am sitting here typing away, chatting with friends on AIM, and watching Myth Busters, because I love this damn show. Beyond that I think I had the best wrap ever from the Pita Pit. It was Tuna, BBQ sauce, onions, lettuce, and Jalapenos on a white pita....oh god was it delicious. My mom went and got it for me...I might get the same thing tomorrow if I and feeling adventurous again! My mom stayed tonight until about 8:30, she is here with my everyday. My dad, brother and sister come in when they can. I don’t ever say it, but I love them all so much, and I don’t know where I would be without all of them and all of their support throughout my life and all that I have been through. I love you guys, and thank you for everything.

I think for now I am going to have to say goodnight though, I am feeling kinda crappy now that they have started the meds, but I am going to start updating every day from now on. Even after my treatments are done, because I want a record of my life for future generations to see. Whether they be my kids or grand kids if I have them in the future or my brother and sisters kids and grand kids, so they can know who I am or was, whatever the case may be at that point. I know that may sound a bit morbid, and I don’t plan on passing away anytime soon haha. I guess I would have to say I am not just doing it for that though. I am doing it for other people if they come across it to show them that they can get better, and even though life can be a struggle it is worth living, even if you do have to suffer a little.

So I thought I was going to say goodnight a couple minutes ago, but I got thinking again. I really want to start a support center, one for cancer patients, family, survivors, and people affected by any type of cancer and people of any age in the Central New York Area. If anyone can help me, in anyway or give me an idea of who to talk to or where to start with this that would be incredible. I want it to be non-profit, I just want to help people because I now know actually how hard it can be going through this. It really messes with your head and sometimes you just need someone to talk to. I won’t lie, some nights I find myself crying myself to sleep, not because I feel bad for myself, I have a very good outlook on life, but it is uncontrollable. I want to have a support network that can help people that need help with things like that at all hours, any day, no matter what, and of course I am going to need a group of like minded people to help me! So if you have any ideas or help you can shoot my way please let me know. My email is on the page called “The Tech”, but here it is too,thetech@astoldbyatech.com.

Ok so now that I have that out, I am actually wrapping this up for the night, feel free to IM me or text me or email me or whatever (I know a lot of or’s). I will probably be up pretty late tonight.

More Tomorrow,

-The Tech

So lets blog since I'm awake

So it is about 6:10 pm, I am awake, really got an ass kicking today from treatment, but I think that was from the build up from the rest of the week, and the fact that we started my treatment at 3 am today.

Lets fast forward though, cause I had a very boring/sick day...I slept a lot, was loopy a lot, and also just didn’t do a lot. I am having an interesting time of ups and downs...as in my mood. I will wake up once be energetic....fall asleep again, and then be completely miserable. I am trying to find a balance, things to keep me positive. My friends and family have helped with that, I loved you all.

There are a lot of people I am meeting via twitter....look for me there @ommegang. They are very supportive on there.

I am trying to also start something big here, that will of course start small and hopefully be something that everyone can benefit from. Check out the rest of my site, gimme some feed back. Any help I can get would be incredible, or advice!

email me: thetech@astoldbyatech.com
Twitter: @ommegang
AIM: d315g


Thanks everyone,

The Tech!

Thursday...Day 4...and its hitting me

So I have finally started to lose appetite as of yesterday, and beyond that I am on ups and downs of energy, right now I am on an all time low. It is kind of scaring me. I am trying stay positive....keep my cheery attitude! I will write more later though cause my stomach is starting to bother me...

Peace Out,

-The tech

End Of Treatment Day 2

So it about 8:15 pm, on my Second day of treatment. The end of the day, I only finished my last drug about a half an hour ago. Hopefully they will be able to start things a little bit earlier tomorrow so that I can get it over with...not that I have anywhere to be.

My Cardiologist came and saw me today, and he was pretty happy with how I was doing thus far, as well as my Oncologist.

Right now I am watching that new series V, which is actually based off of an old series, so I am having trouble concentrating on both. Not only that but I am having trouble getting comfortable! I think tonight I am going to have them give me Ativan, because I had soooooo much trouble sleeping last night!

That is all for now,

-The Tech

The Morning After My First Treatment

So it is currently 9:50 am, and I barely slept last night. I think that has to do with the fact that I have been working 3rd Shift for awhile now and my whole sleep schedule has been thrown off.

So far I don’t have any weird side effects, other than the slight metallic taste that I had in my mouth last night when they gave me the Cisplatin. My nurses so far have been nice, they haven’t been the old mean ladies, actually a lot of young nurses that are probably around my age, which at times makes me a little uneasy.

Jill is here with me, I am watching TV and she is attempting to work on homework. She opened the blinds for my room, and we can see some of the work that they are doing out the window.

I used my electric razor today to shave my face, and it really ate up my neck, I don’t think it probably helps that I haven’t actually shaved my face in at least a year, so it is definitely not used to it.

Well that is all for now,

-The Tech

Treatment Day 1

So it is currently 9:50 am, and I barely slept last night. I think that has to do with the fact that I have been working 3rd Shift for awhile now and my whole sleep schedule has been thrown off.

So far I don’t have any weird side effects, other than the slight metallic taste that I had in my mouth last night when they gave me the Cisplatin. My nurses so far have been nice, they haven’t been the old mean ladies, actually a lot of young nurses that are probably around my age, which at times makes me a little uneasy.

Jill is here with me, I am watching TV and she is attempting to work on homework. She opened the blinds for my room, and we can see some of the work that they are doing out the window.

I used my electric razor today to shave my face, and it really ate up my neck, I don’t think it probably helps that I haven’t actually shaved my face in at least a year, so it is definitely not used to it.

Well that is all for now,

-The Tech

Eight Days to GO

So, lets see, what to tell. It is almost a week away from my first round of treatments...how am I feeling? A bit nervous, but I know that everything will be all right. Sure I will probably lose my hair, lose some weight, and hey...look like a chemo patient! It will be ok though, I have plenty of family and friends to support me, not only that but a positive outlook on life.

I didn’t used to be like that though, I used to not understand, I used to not get why I had all this crap happened to me. I have come to realize...the answer to that question is.....wait for it....wait for it.....SHIT HAPPENS!

One thing that is really going to suck is not being able to work for about 3 or 4 months! Luckily though I have talked to work, and they told me that I will still have a job when I am done with treatment. I have to go and fill out paperwork tomorrow morning with them to get ready for all this.

On a brighter note, I went out to the movies last night...with a girl, we saw Paranormal Activity, it was pretty good. The ending was a real shocker, I would recommend seeing it!

I know wait wait wait...with a girl, not with my friends...it was nice, it was fun, and I cannot wait to do it again...dinner....a movie....whatever!

So that is all for right now! I am watching the Watchmen with Jill and Derek right now, working on this, and chatting with a certain someone!

Work at 9 tonight until 8 tomorrow....text me!

-The Tech

Day after decision making

So yesterday I went in for some Blood Work, to check levels like my Alpha Beta Protein and crap like that, and then I met with the doctor.

So Basically what everything came down to, this is the short version, is that in 2 weeks from yesterday, I am going to be starting Chemotherapy. I will have a 21 day cycle in which the first 5 days I will be in treatment, then off for the next 16 days, then on the 22nd day I will start treatment again. Unfortunately for the first reatment I am going to have to be hospitalized for observation. Hopefully after the first treatment I will be able to do the rest of the treatments as an outpatient.

Ok so that is enough of that for now...beyond that, in preparation for losing my hair, I have shaved it down to next to nothing, and cut most of my beard off...

For now though I must get some sleep since I got home from work 3 hours ago and am exhausted.

-The Tech

Enjoy life, because this is NOT a dress rehearsal

So, once again I am laying in my bed, it is about 7:54 PM, and I am talking to some friends online, playing FarmVille, and watching Dawn of the Dead on BluRay....mmmmm high-def zombies hahaha.

Anyway, I have some bad and good news to report. First for the bad news...Friday I found out that I do in fact have cancer again. The same type as before, but this time it is more in my abdomen. Unfortunately this time they are not going to be able to just do surgery and thats that. This time they are going to have to give me treatments. It may be end up being Chemo, but they could also decide to do Radiation Therapy. Depending on what they do will depend on how rough of a time I am going to have.

That is all for now really. I will write more when i know more.

So long for now,

- The Tech

And Now I Wait...

So I am laying in my bed, home alone, and now wide awake after the 6 hour nap that I took. It is currently 1:40 AM, and I am wide awake...I guess that is what happens when you work third shift. I have decided that third shift really is the place for me, I love the hours and I love the people that I work with. Anyways, yesterday morning at 8 AM I arrived at Crouse Hospital for my Para-Aortic Needle Biopsy. Last week I had gone to the doctor to get my normal 3 month check up with my Oncologist, and there was a mass that appeared on my CT Scan. So I went in for the biopsy, got the happy drugs, and they got what they needed to run some tests. I asked the doctor when I should have the results to the test which will determine my very near future.

To give you a little back history on why I am going to the oncologist in the first place. In March of last year, the 28th to be exact I went into the hospital to have a cancerous mass removed from my body. I had Testicular Cancer, it was a Seminoma, and rather small so it wasn’t a big deal. I have been having scans ever since just as some preventative steps.

So now I am worried that it may be back, but a different kind this time, and if I do, there are very good chances that things will not be as pleasant or simple to take care of my issue this time. Anyways, that is enough for now I guess. Whatever happens it will be ok and I will take it with a grain of salt, can’t let things like that get to me.

So long for now,

-The Tech