“It’s Nuckin Futs”, to quote Dickie Roberts haha! I love that picture that I put up there!
So I got home last night from Schenectady last night, well Guilderland to be more accurate, and then today got up and went to the doctors! “Oh fun” you may say with sarcasm, well it was a little fun actually...While I was waiting for my CT, I had a whole ton of people sitting around me and somehow I became the focal point for everyone in the room. I had a lady start talking to me who’s father was in for a scan and asking my if “I was the young man I saw on the news?”
So of course I said yes, and then the questions started rolling in. I didn’t realize how many people actually know who I am, well at least in my local area. It feels kind of nice to have people ask me questions about what I have been through, what I think they should do, and on top of that...how my book is coming? Hahah I would have never dreamt in my life that I would have people recognizing me that I have never met before. I don’t really like to be in the spotlight, but people have been telling me that I am really good at it, haha!
Anyways, speaking of my book, I have started a new writing exercise that seems to help me clear my mind so that I can write more with the book. For example I wrote this the other night:
“Sometimes in my life, I feel like…I just don’t know what to do. I feel like no matter what choice or choices I make it will never ever be right. I am not sure where I am going with this, but I feel as if I need to write. Writing has become my new outlet in life. When there is something wrong, or I get anxious, or I am even feeling great about myself…I write. It used to be before that I would take a drink, or I would take something to calm my nerves, but now I do that to make myself survive in this life after cancer and chemotherapy. Well not the drinking part, but you know the doctors have given me all of these drugs to help my nerves, to help me sleep, to help me eat. I hate having to rely on all of this shit to make me feel good. I wish that I could just feel good on my own. I wish that I could just take away all the things that make me feel like shit and be a normal person again.
I never have felt like this, and I know that most of the time I act so strong. “
So I mean I wrote that, and it is kind of revealing for me. I mean I try to act so strong, and most the time succeed, but I have had friends tell me that I can’t just hold it all in all the time. I have to let out my weakness...just let it out.
So from time to time now you might see these little blurbs on here, I think I may incorporate some of them into my book as I get more of them. A lot of them are probably going to be way to personal for me to be putting them in my book, but we shall see.
-The Tech
