Rough Start

Hey Everyone,

So this morning I woke up at about 8 am, with no desire to get out of my bed. I did my normal routine though, got up...walked to the bathroom, walked back to my bedroom...jumped in bed, and then grabbed my laptop which I had fallen asleep with in my bed with me last night...along with my phone. So I got on my laptop, checked my twitter, grabbed my iPhone and checked my emails, and then passed out.

Awaking again about 45 minutes later I realized I need to stop falling asleep with my MacBook in my bed because it was about an inch from the edge of my bed where it would have faced an awful fall to destruction! Ok so it wouldn’t have been that dramatic, but it would have been me going, “SHIT SHIT SHIT....(crash)...SON OF A...”, you get the point. It probably would have went on for about 2 hours while I tried to fix whatever was broken and then tried to order new parts for it.

Anyways, so that is not even why my morning has been rough. I woke up and did all that and after checking my email, my twitter, napping again, and waking back up...I got to thinking about stuff. Nothing in particular...just stuff...which eventually led to me thinking about my life and the things I wished were different. I started thinking to myself, I wish I didn’t have Heart Disease, then onto I wish I didn’t have to go through chemo treatments, and finally onto I wish I had never had cancer in the first place and had to have a testicle removed! So while I was getting down on myself and wishing that none of these things ever happened I got thinking some more on how that is not me. How I have had those things happen to me, and sure I may be upset about them but shit, those things are what have made me the person I am today. Without any of those things happening to me I would not want to make a difference like I do today. So instead of sitting around being counter productive, feeling sorry for my damn self I am going to do what I planned and help people that need help. (Of course I don’t mean right this second, I have a blog to write...site to finish...benefit to be set up...)

But, when everything is said and done, and in the mean time I want to try and help people. Be it volunteering while I am at the hospital to talk to and visit the kids that are going through chemo, or even some of the older people who are there to keep them company while we are all going through this. I especially want to focus on helping the kids right now. I cannot imagine what it is like being a kid I mean under like 15 that has to go through chemo. Not really understanding why these things are happening to you, or why you feel so bad. It makes me miserable thinking about a child having to go through what I am going through right now. Or their parents having to watch their child be so sick, and so tired that they can’t play, or play with other kids because their immune system is shot from the drugs they are coming in contact with. I just want to be able to help them and their families, or people my age and older and their families get through what could possibly be the hardest time in their life.

Me, I have been in and out of the hospital, more now than ever and I know exactly what it can be like, and I sure as hell know what it is like when things go wrong. If I can use those experiences to help other people I am going to!

Anyways, I need to go get something to eat, my meds are starting to kick in, and and I am getting hungry. I am sure I will post again later tonight though.

Until then, have a great day,

-The Tech