Hanging Out

So,

Last night I think I got the best night sleep I have gotten in a long long long long time. I wasn’t even up that late to make myself extremely tired!

Tonight is Walk Up Radio and it is the GREAT GUMMY SOAK OFF! For those of you that have no idea what I am talking about you should go to their website and check it out or you should watch the show tonight at 8pm EST Live! You could always just come to the show at Wise Guys Comedy Club on Salina St in Syracuse, but I know that some of you live much to far away to do that!

Anyways, there has been a strange thing happening today, and I have no way of explaining it...when I woke up this morning I had about 230 followers on twitter...now, and 4:40pm I have 620...oh wait...nope sorry update that to 622! I don’t know how it is happening, but it is incredible! I figure this will help me spread the word about Protect Your Pair! Which for me is very exciting!

Speaking of PYP I am going to be applying to the Pepsi Refresh Everything Competition today! Please check it out, and I will update you when we are able to vote for us! This would be a giant step for us and help us accomplish our dream to help people in every way shape and form!

Unfortunately I have to stop here for now, and start getting ready to go! I hope to talk to you all soon!!

-The Tech!!

There is NO place like home

I am home...and that is all for this blog

THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME

oh and I can’t wait for Walk Up Radio on wednesday!!!

or to see my BFF’s!!

-The Tech

Cancerversary

Hey everyone,

So today is my cancerversary...so...how do I feel?

I feel more accomplished than I ever have in my life and the funniest part is that I have so much more I want to accomplish in the very near future! I mean I have got this great idea, and many people that want to back me up...but now I just need to be able to raise the financial backing to be able to get it all up and running. To register it and establish it as a NPO, and to be able to start offering support to people because that is really what I want to be able to do.

Unfortunately today on my cancerversary I am exhausted! I am in Florida as you may have seen from previous posts visiting my grandfather, so I guess I better go spend some time with the family!

All I have to say now I guess is thank you! Thank you everyone that has helped me directly or indirectly and supported me by doing something as simple as reading my blog :)

So long for now,

-The Tech

On the road

Hey everyone!

So currently I am on the road with my sister, Derek, and my mom. We are headed to Ocala, Florida to see my grandfather, and so that Jill can help one of her friends at a horse show! I am excited just to be away from New York!! Right now we are just about to get on I-95 South from 26 East in South Carolina. Derek and I stayed up all night and drove, he started at about 2 am and I took over at about 4 am and drove until about 8. So I should be tired right now, but I am not really so I have taken some really good drugs to try and help knock me out because I am wired! (ps Red Bull Cola may be my new favorite energy drink!)

Anyways, I have been updating my Facebook and Twitter the whole way, you should check them out...I have been uploading pictures and everything! So really I think I am just going to plan on tweeting, posting on facebook, and working on my sites and my book while I am down here...not to mention relax and enjoy some quality time with my grandfather.

I have seen my grandfather since he left for Florida after my grandma passed away. This was also before I started chemotherapy so it will be nice to see him after I went through all that bullshit and my hair is finally growing back!

I have been having a lot of fun posting all night...sometime while driving, but that is what has kept me awake along with everybody commenting on the shit I was posting.

I think this trip is exactly what I need right now, just to get away and relax. I have been relaxing for the past couple months, I know, but I mean this is different. Now I am not cooped up at home in my bedroom!

While I have so time to write, I guess I will. Lets see, what is buried deep in my mind...

Lets start with my Cancerversary...it is only 4 days away, and the more I think about it the more I realize that it is a HUGE day for me. I mean that is the day I became a cancer survivor...well...I guess technically I became a survivor on the 28th of March, 2008 because that is when I had the Orchiectomy. That was a huge day for me when I look back on it though. I had a positive attitude ever since them about the whole situation. I mean from day one it was jokes, like the doctor asking me how I felt after surgery...my one word answer was....”Lighter”. My friends still laugh about this, I mean the way I told them all is still a little comical to me to this day...I simply did it through one mass text message to all of them saying, “it’s cancer”. Talk about the flood of phone calls that came in after that one, damn it was insane. Nothing could keep me down though...a week after my surgery I was in the car driving to Fredonia to party with all of my friends. Only one of them knew I was coming so all the rest of them were quite surprised when I walked through the doors of our favorite bar with a little bit of a limp.

From then on I was known as “uno” which was a nickname that I completely accepted and encouraged my friends to call me. I didn’t really realize though that someday this would bother me a little bit. I guess it was my own fault though, because I got them all making jokes about it. I mean it should have only been taken to a certain point, and there were some people that took it a little too far for my liking but I never said anything about it because I didn’t want to make any of them feel bad.

Eventually I kind of drifted away from those friends. I had so many serious things going on in my life, that I really didn’t have time to do most of the stuff that they wanted to do...like partying. I really started to grow up fast, or so I thought at that point....turns out I didn’t grow up as fast as I thought. It wasn’t until October 16th when I really started to grow up, and I would say that on November 2nd, 2009 was when the process got rushed, in a good way. November 2nd was the day that I started chemotherapy for the Stage III Seminoma in my Para-Aortic Lymph Node. For those of you that have been reading along since I started chemo you understand what I mean. If you haven’t been reading since then I would suggest going back and reading my past entries, because my process through chemo truly was a battle, and not necessarily because of the chemo itself. I had a lot of complications other than that, between thinking I had the swine flu, to cardiac issues, and finally of course that god awful blood clot that I had which is still limiting some of my activity still today!

NOW...of course these thing are not the only thing that kicked my ass into a different mode of thinking. In my third week of chemo, I met the single most influential person in my life. I had a roommate named Paul. Most of you have probably heard me talk about him, but I don’t think anyone really understands how much he really did influence me except for Paul’s wife Ruth Ann and the rest of his family. If it wasn’t for Paul I would not have had the drive that I have now to help people the way that I want to. He was a caring, kind, and hilarious man. I learned from him how to keep a smile on my face when I felt like crap by watching him with his family in the hospital when he was my roommate. I have to thank Paul for that extra push that I needed to really jump on Protect Your Pair. Paul recently passed away, and when I saw the news I had to make sure and be at his wake, because I am sure he would do the same for me if I had passed. Of course that isn’t the only reason I went, I wanted Ruth Ann and Paul’s sisters to know how much he meant to me and I wanted to show them that in person. I am sure that for the rest of my life I will keep telling the story of how I met him, and how much he influenced me. I feel like we really need more people like Paul in the world, and it would be a much better place.

On that note, I am going to try and take a mini nap here in the car, it is about 10 am, and we have about 4 more hours of driving ahead of us! I will update again later!!

Thanks for reading!

-The Tech

Watching the SU game, getting ready to go...and stuff

So lets see, lets start with watching the SU game. I am currently watching the game, and I am jealous that Kevin is out in Buffalo at the game. He sent me a picture of where he is sitting, and he has great seats! I am really hoping that SU moves on to the next round! Anyway, now onto getting ready to go. This afternoon my sister, her boyfriend, my mother and I are headed to Florida!! I haven’t been there in years!

There is more than one reason for us to be going to Florida. I am going so I can see my grandfather, and so I can get away finally. I have been wanting to get away for a long while now, but because of chemo and all of the crap that went along with that, I haven’t been able to! Also we are going because my little sister is going to help one of her friends at a horse show!

So I had this great idea today, I am going to wear my Walk Up Radio shirt on the way to Florida, and at every stop we make throughout the states I am going to have someone take a picture of me with it on. For those of you that may be new to my blog, or haven’t hear me talk about Walk Up Radio it is a Live, Interactive, Hilarious Internet Radio show. It consists of three people, Joshua Grosvent, Kevin Keefe, and Paulie Scibilia. These three guys have to be the funniest people I know. They have great topics that they talk about, and they are just out of control. For those of you that don’t like crude humor, I must warn you this is probably not for you, though it is hilarious so I don’t know why people wouldn’t like that. For more information go to www.walkupradio.com, or search for their podcast on iTunes.

Beyond that I miss my BFF...Kelly...she and I spent a few days together, and her daughter Olivia was with us too! She came out to the house to stay and it was awesome to have the two of them to keep me company. Now that she is gone though I miss her.

Also I am not sure if I told everyone this or if people know but recently I redesigned the Protect Your Pair website. Check it out, let me know what you think!

I have been thinking lately about finally getting my second tattoo. There are so many I want, but I think have narrowed it down to two that I am split between for my next one. My first idea is simple, and it is a scottish proverb, “Is mios' an t-eagal na 'n cogadh.” which is Gaelic for “Fear is worse than Fighting”. I know that if I don’t get that now, I know I will eventually. My second idea is a sleeve on my right arm that would be worked around my binary tattoo that I already have. For those of you that don’t know about my binary tattoo, it all converts out to say Livestrong. I got it not long after I was diagnosed with cancer the first time, and still love it even though I have had it for almost 2 years now. For the sleeve that I want to get around it I want these things incorporated in it:

-an infusion machine on the pole

-3 IV bags each with one of the chemo drug names on it, but the one with bleomycin on it to have an X through it.

-a cancer ribbon with the dates of each diagnosis at the bottom if them 3-26-2008 and 10-16-2009

-maybe the third date of 1-9-2010 which was the last day I had chemo

-The words “How we survive is what makes us who we are” which is from a Rise Against song

-the connectors for a PICC line

I am still working on it a little bit, and then of course I need to have it drawn up, because I am pretty bad at drawing lol.

Ok, lets see...I am making so progress on the book still. I am hoping to just work in it a ton on this trip I am about to take, because I am going to have a lot of time in the car when I am not driving! Also I am going to try and upload a picture and update my blog every day while I am there, but I have no idea if I am going to have internet at my grandfathers house...so it may just be a picture each day that I upload on my facebook!

So Long for now everyone! I will update from the road!!

-The Tech

Love, Lust, and oh....my Cancerversary!

*DISCLAIMER* -in this blog I go into some personal things that I have never publicly expressed before. You will most likely see a different side of me, but I would not be the person I am today without the things I have done in my past.
-Thank you,

The Tech


So lately I have come across an interesting space in my mind. This space in my mind is full of old memories...friends, family, girlfriends, the good, the bad, the ugly, hospital stays, and I mean just random things. It is about 2:51 am, and I am having a lot of trouble sleeping. Not because of these things that I have come across in my mind, but because of...well I am not sure really. Not sleeping is not really the point of this blog though...but if I had been sleeping this unfortunate series of flashbacks may never have occurred. The funny part is though, that all I can think of it as is one of those cheesy movie flashbacks where someone looks back on their life.

How it all started was I was watching Cadillac Records (I highly recommend watching it if you know anything about old blues and rock and roll) and I happened to think about a blues concert that I went to with my mother and father when I was younger. While I was there I remember I got a picture signed by one of the old blues gods that was playing there that night. I can’t remember who it was, but I went into my closet looking for this picture. Unfortunately I did not find that picture, but I did find a lot of things that brought back both good and bad memories.

The first thing that I found was an old cross stitch that an ex-girlfriend had made me that I didn’t realize I still had. I won’t mention her name other than to call her beautiful. Anyways, it was in a frame and there was a big “I <3..."

Ok let me stop here. There may be ex-girlfriends reading this, and I have to tell you...if you are reading this you are probably not the girl I am referring to. Not to make any of you angry, but there is only one girlfriend that I am talking about in this blog.

With that said...

Throughout my life, I have been through a lot of things that didn’t seem to teach me any sort of lessons. Now though, that I am looking back on all of those things that should have taught me lessons. The girlfriend I had, “beautiful” definitely taught me some lessons. The one I wish I had really learned then, was that no matter what happened...if you love some one, then you should show it. When times got tough, and things weren’t going the way we planned I did what I had never experienced before, and ran away. I wish I had never run, and there was girls between her and I dating again briefly...but because of everything we had been through before and me leaving, things would never ever be the same. I have dated a lot of girls on and off, and some of them I have to say were not love. I do regret some these things now, but without the experiences I have been through I would not be the person I am today.

The every other girl that I have dated, other than two of them I have not really loved in the way that I loved “beautiful”. Even now today I know there is something different about her...still today there is something different about her. There were a lot of girls in my past that I did not love, I only really lusted...and well that is as far as I will go with that.

While I was going through chemo, one of my ex-girlfriends came to visit me. I hadn’t seen her in a long time, and she was more beautiful than I remembered her. Though not much with her had changed other than she was more grown up. I still remembered the day I met her, confused well...I guess if I said why I was confused it may give away who she is to some of you, and I want to leave you guessing. It was a pretty funny situation though. She and I went through the good and the bad times, we had a lot of fun, she came on family trips...she was part of the family.

Unfortunately at the end of our incredible relationship there were a few things that tore us completely apart, and she and I ended up going separate ways and living very very different lives. There are a lot of days in my life that I wish I could go back and change a lot of the things that happened, and the decisions that I made. If I could do that though...I probably would not be the person that I am today.

So I started writing this on tuesday the 16th...it is now Sunday the 21st, and I am finally getting around to finishing this. I wrote all of the previous part before on that tuesday. Anyways, on the 26th it will be my 2 year Cancerversary from when I originally found out that I had cancer. Thinking back to that day I still really don’t think that day in itself changed me. Like I said before I believe that it was October 16th, 2009 was the day when my life really started to change. When I found out that I had cancer the second time, and that I would have to go through chemo.

I really do not know where I would be if I hadn’t gone through all of the things that I have. I mean and things could have gone much worse. I am still in great condition for going through cancer twice now, having heart disease, a blood clot, a stroke, and all the other crap that has been dealt in my hand of cards. I feel like every card I am dealt now is a joker card...always laughing at me, but never taking me down.

Anyways, I have to get some sleep, I am going to start blogging again regularly! Hope to talk to you all soon!

-The Tech

Brainstorming, Planning, and Headaches

Hey Everyone,

I am sorry it has been so long since I have done a blog post. I have been working away at my book, planning this new event, and trying to get just back into the swing of things! Luckily I have been getting out of the house more lately. I have started driving again and seeing my friends :)

Like the other day Kelly and I hung out! It was a lot of fun, I got to see Ben, and I mean yea, I am starting to have some fun again! Of course I have my weekly Wednesday outing to Walk Up Radio (www.walkupradio.com) please check them out, they are LIVE every Wednesday night at 8pm ET. You can watch them live at Wise Guys Comedy Club in downtown Syracuse, or on the live stream on their website! They are a very great and hilarious group of guys, and you are almost guaranteed to hear me on the mic at least once each week whether it is them calling me out on something, or me putting in my 2 cents. Anyways!

I am starting to get my facial hair back, but the hair on top of my head is not coming back nearly like I would want it to...I have been growing it since the end of chemo, and its growing in...very thin hahaha. So Today it is time for me to go back to shaving my head for now. Though I am not going to shave my face, I am going to keep on growing that because...well I love having a beard. I wasn’t as upset about losing the hair on top of my head as I was the hair on my face!

So onto this new event that I am in the process of getting planned with my PYP (www.protectyourpair.org) buddies! We are trying to organize an event for the spring/summer of this year. Something to kick off summer at the end of the school semesters. We are looking for people to perform at it so if you are in a band, a solo act, or whatever please email us! Send any ideas to events@protectyourpair.org. I want this to be bigger than the last one, so we are going to try for like an all day event, or something like that at least! So Please email us with any ideas!

Lets see...so what to write about now. I have to go to the doctor today for blood work, and then they want me to talk to a social worker about my anxiety. Ever since I have been off my Ativan things have been a bit worse than before. I don’t know if it is just a mental thing, or what but I do notice that my hands shake, and that also that I am just very jumpy. Beyond that I am off my Ambien, and have been for awhile...so they started giving me Benadryl just to help knock me out, but that isn’t helping anymore now. I was up until about 3 last night, but I tried to stay off my computer so hopefully I would fall asleep. Turns out that after the 3rd time watching Law Abiding Citizen I will fall asleep. Then today I woke up earlier than I had hoped, just because I haven’t been getting that much, or good sleep. I think working on my book and planning for PYP might have me a little stressed.

Lets move onto the book now, I am having a very hard time with this. Now though I think I have a better idea on how to approach it. I originally wanted everything to be right in order, but I don’t think that is how I am going to do it. I have sold myself on the idea where I am going to start the book at the beginning of my chemotherapy, and then flashback to early points in my life. I think this will work better because each of the complications I had during chemo links back to something that happened earlier in my life. Even having cancer and the chemo itself links back to the first time I had cancer. So we will see how that goes, start writing again and go from there.

Hmmmm....What else....OH...DUH I am an uncle! My brother and his wife had their first child, he was born on Feb 20th! He is an adorable little guy, and A great start to the next generation of the Gemmell family!

Ok so I am now going to go shave my head, take a shower...you know...my normal thing haha...anyway! I will start updating more regularly again, and I hope to see and talk to you all soon!

-The Tech